2 min read

When people speak with authority and confidence, you are more likely to believe what they say.  But beware, their tone is no indication of the truth of what they’re saying!

For example, you may hear people say the following things with great conviction:

  • "Everybody knows all women are attracted to men with a six pack."
  • "Sadly, ugly people will always be passed over for good-looking people."
  • "It’s just biology – it’s not possible for people to find flat-chested women attractive."
  • "It’s just biology – it’s not possible for people to find skinny men attractive." 
  • "Being too fat simply isn’t feminine." 
  • "Not having curves simply isn't feminine."
  • "Being too short simply isn’t attractive in a man."
  • "Everyone is repulsed by old, saggy bodies. No one desires you once you reach a certain age."

But what about all the exceptions?

None of the above statements is true.  Instead, they represent popular opinions. There is a big difference between a fact and an opinion. 

If you look around you, you’ll always find exceptions to these so-called ‘facts’. But if enough people say them with sufficient conviction, you will usually start to believe them. And then they become self-fulfilling.

And then you become one of the people who repeat them to others. And the next cycle of indoctrination begins, and with it all the pain and suffering that comes from the idea that we are all a victim of our genes and only some people get to be happy in this life.

Take back control of your mind and your life!

  • You don't have to believe everything people say. People say a lot of very unhelpful things. If you believed all of them, your life would be a total mess!  
  • You have the capacity to question what you hear.  It may be very helpful, accurate information. Or it may be utter nonsense. The confidence with which it's expressed should not be the deciding factor for whether you believe something.
  • If you feel upset by a so-called 'fact' about attractiveness, slow down and try to take a bit of time to reflect on its truthfulness, especially if you're considering doing something drastic to try to change your body in light of this so-called 'truth'.  
  • Intense emotions are not an indication that the thoughts that are causing them are true, but it won't feel like that when you're experiencing them!


  • We are all vulnerable to being taken in by lies expressed with great confidence.  (This is how political tyrants rise to power - they make simplistic claims which play into people's fears and insecurities - in a very persuasive and compelling way.)
  • Repetition of so-called 'facts' about what makes someone attractive reinforce their apparent truthfulness, especially when it comes from a multitude of sources.
  • You can free yourself from the grip of painful lies about attractiveness by becoming reflective:
    • Look around you and see if you can find any evidence to disprove these so-called 'facts'.  
    • Look within.  Consider whether your own experience of attraction has ever contravened these so-called 'rules'.
  • It can be helpful to remember that there is no direct correlation between confidence and accuracy.  Think Donald Trump!

And now it's over to you. What do you think?

  • Have you ever been taken in by something someone said because they said it confidently only to find out later that it wasn't true?
  • When it comes to views about attractiveness, how do you know who or what to trust?
  • Are you ready to think for yourself and question what you've been told about attractiveness?

Let me know in the comment box below! I'd love to hear from you.

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If you’d like to join me in breaking the cycle of passing on painful lies about attractiveness, check out my free resources or find out how you can work with me.

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