2 min read

Looking for happiness in the way your body looks is like an alcoholic looking for happiness in the bottom of a whiskey glass. It isn’t found there.  Temporarily maybe. But it’s not a sustainable approach to life.

While most alcoholics probably know this at some level, people who are trying to change their appearance, often don’t. We truly believe:

  • If I just lost 10 more pounds…
  • If I just gained enough muscle in the right places…
  • If only my skin was clear and smooth…
  • If only I looked younger…
  • If only I had her figure…
  • If only I had his abs...
  • If only my stomach were flat...
  • If only if everyone everywhere thought I looked amazing...

...then I could be happy.

This is the promise of the diet, beauty, fitness and often wellness industries, and there is a lot of money to be made in peddling these myths.  

❓How many times are you going to try and fail to achieve ‘the body beautiful’ before you recognise that it won’t make you happy?

❓How many times are you going to succeed to achieve ‘the body beautiful’ before you realise the cost is too high and the apparent ‘win’ just leaves you feeling empty?


  • Neither happiness nor suffering comes from the appearance of your body. Feelings don't emanate from flesh. That's why people with similar bodies can feel completely different about them.
  • People with bodies that conform with today's 'beauty' standards still experience the full range of human emotions.  They can still feel disgusting, sad, angry, tired, insecure, unloved.
  • Having 'the body beautiful' will NOT:
    • guarantee you meaningful, harmonious relationships.  Just think about celebrities!
    • guarantee you amazing sex.  (Enjoyable sex is about being present in the moment, feeling safe and connected to the person you're being intimate with, and allowing yourself to experience physical pleasure.)  
    • exempt you from sadness and pain.
    • give you a sense of belonging, intimacy or love.
  • Having 'the body beautiful' may win you the approval and admiration of some people.  It may raise your status in their eyes. It may make you feel superior.  None of these things will give your life meaning, keep you warm at night or save you from despair.
  • There is no direct correlation between your appearance and your happiness.

And now it's over to you. What do you think?

  • Have you been taken in by the lure of 'the body beautiful'?  How has that manifested in your life?
  • Do you think your life would be better, easier and nicer if your body was admired by more people?
  • How would it feel to know that your worth and lovability is not conditional upon the degree to which your body conforms with today's so-called 'beauty' standards?

Let me know in the comment box below! I'd love to hear from you.

Reach out if you'd like support

The myths that are widely peddled in this area are extremely alluring and play into our deepest insecurities and our strongest desires.  It can be hard to free ourselves from their grip.  

So, if you’d like some support with disentangling yourself from all the seductive claims, check out my free resources or find out how you can work with me.

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