18 Jan
18Jan


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I yearn to be desired. 

Passionately and forcefully.

Without equivocation, hesitation, or restraint.

I’m blessed to be married to a man who answers my prayers.

And yet the yearning can sometimes grow too big for daily life.


This used to be a problem.

A chronically unsated hunger that mutated into physiological malnutrition.

An aching.

I kept seeing a big neon sign with flashing letters ‘not enough’.

A pernicious grievance that gnawed away at my peace of mind. 


But that was then…! 

Now everything is completely different.

Now I like the aching!

I’m happy to burn.

Sometimes softly, sometimes powerfully.

But never fearfully.

I’ve released the floodgates and let myself feel it all.

I’ve ceased resisting and resenting.

And delight in what arises. 


In fact, I glory in it! 

I recognise it for what it is: Lebenslust overflowing and looking for expression.

The formless hankering after form.

The separate self seeking union in belonging.

In this world here and now. The world of touch and hot breath.


Now I luxuriate in the yearning!

There is no more fear of unmet needs.

I lean into the longing. 

I allow it to overpower me.

I submerge myself in it! A warm bubble bath of bliss. 


I let it wash over me and through me.

I float on it. I dance with it. I sing it out.

I don’t make any aspect of it wrong. 


Desire for intimacy and appreciation is beautiful.

We are sweet and tender lovebirds who just want a mate to perch beside. 


Never fret about your worthiness for affection – life gives us what we need to draw the right one to us at the right time. 


Or it will find another way to fulfil us. 


If you crave to be desired, but you’re worried that no one wants you,

And rejection crushes your spirit,

Don’t despair.

You are desirable by default.

There is no qualifying test.

You were born pre-qualified.

It’s not about the size, colour, shape, or texture of any of your body parts.

It’s your being that permeates them that gives them their allure.

 

When you realise this deeply enough, it’s only a matter of time before you will become irresistible to the one, the only one that exists for you in that moment. 

And perhaps forever.


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