How the problem with our appearance starts

The culture in most of the world today gives us the message that the way we look is important, and some ways of looking are better than others. Most of us grow up receiving these messages, either explicitly or implicitly. We may be criticised by people around us for the way we look, or told we should try to change the way we look. Alternatively we may get praised for the way we look.

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2 min read

How a natural pleasure turns into a coping mechanism

I am happy to say that I have always enjoyed eating! Food is a natural pleasure in life, and one that is available to most of us several times per day. It is one of life's precious gifts. However, for many of us, the joyful aspect of eating, can become tainted. My difficulties with eating started as a child.

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2 min read

What is beauty?

What is beauty? What is it that makes somebody beautiful? According to the everyday understanding of beauty with regard to human beings, it refers to the appearance of the body, and there are usually similar characteristics.

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2 min read

You're not greedy

There have been times in my life when my appetite seemed insatiable. I used to say to myself, "I could eat the world!", and that really seemed to sum up the way things were. Whatever I ate, it was never enough.

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1 min read

Fear of weight gain: the terror that binds us

I’ve heard that one of many people’s greatest fears is public speaking. It even trumps death for a lot of people! It’s the fear of exposure and ridicule. But I suspect there’s another contender that would feature pretty highly on many people’s list of fears these days: the fear of gaining weight.

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1 min read

You are not a product

I believe that, in order to enjoy life, we must feel that we have some value to other people. Our human nature is social – we want to connect with, and feel close to, others.

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2 min read

You can't believe your eyes

Appearances can be very deceptive. For most of my life, I looked at my body without realising that my vision had been infected by a kind of psychological virus. When it came to my physical form, I had lost the ability to see clearly.

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2 min read

THE ECSTASY OF BEING ALIVE, AND THE MISLEADING ASSOCIATIONS THAT GET IN THE WAY

Like many people these days, I used to be obsessed with being thin. I put an enormous amount of energy into the endeavour. So much so, that I was willing to suffer greatly to achieve my objective. At times, it even felt like my life’s work. Clearly, it was hugely important to me. In fact, it’s hard to overstate its significance. But all this begs the question: why?

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2 min read

The deception of fear and the healing promise of love

What are you afraid of? Not having enough money for life’s necessities like food, shelter and healthcare? Physical pain? The loss of loved ones? A terminal diagnosis? Watching people you love suffer, and not knowing how to help? Violent assault? Rape? Having your freedom taken away? Being taken advantage of? Rejection? Abandonment? Being overlooked? Depression? Feeling helpless to repeat behaviours that harm you and/or other people (addiction)? The damaging effects of climate change? Natural disasters? Loss of control? Cruelty? Injustice? Fascism? Torture?

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2 min read

YOU CAN TRUST YOUR EMOTIONAL PAIN TO TEACH AND HEAL YOU

“If the only thing that people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world." Sydney Banks There is a natural rhythm to our emotional life, and when we respect that, our learning and growth will flow more easily.

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2 min read

The shame of living in a natural female body

Thin is better than fat. The thinner you are, the better. When you are thin, you are desirable. When you are fat, you are revolting. There may be times in your life when you eat more, and you gain weight. These are terrible times. It is very shameful to have to buy clothes in larger sizes.

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3 min read

Can you see your beauty?

She looked at the mountain despondently. It wasn’t as big and grand as the mountains in the advertisement. Something about its shape didn’t feel quite right – it irked her. What a waste of time to have come here.

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2 min read